I missed out entering the blog yesterday again. I don’t want to go on listing the reasons as what really important is to accept mistakes and correct it rather than feel sorry looking at the list of reasons. I hate myself feeling “oh-no-I could’ve-avoided-this” stuff.

I read this article “speaking Tree” in TOI. It spoke about the statement made by our proud gold winning hero Abhinav Bindra. When he was asked how is feeling after winning the gold medal he said he is feeling emptiness. It is like you have climbed the mountain and there is nothing left to achieve. I still wonder why he said like that as he can still compete in the coming Olympic tournaments(couple of them atleast). But I agree with the fact that one will feel complete emptiness when he achieves what he dreamt of. The article also said that it feels happier when you are still in road to achieve your goals and dreams than after achieving\reaching there!!!!!!!

The article continues further and puts light on fact that how people nowadays adopt foolish way to gain fame and name in short time. It seems a person tried to enter the famed Guinness Book of World Record by drinking large volume of water in one sitting. But died in the course. The article quotes Albert einstein’s statement “The value of a man should be seen in what he gives rather than what he receives”.

What you can make out from the abstract of the article above is that it is not important whether you are a famous person or not. But whether have you given anything to this society so that the people will recognize you even after your death. People who became famous and are still remembered are those who had given something or other to this society. Tell me whether it is easy for you to remember the personalities like Sir M. Vishveswaraya, Abdul Kalam, Jamshedji Tata, Homi Jehangir baba, Vikram Sarabhai, Ramanujam, or some person who has got his name recorded in the Guinness Book? Both of them are famous, but only difference is that the former are the people who dedicated their life for social service and the later are those who were just concerned with making name.

Take my example itself here. Yesterday I dint posted blog because I write the blog first in MS Word and then paste it to my blogspot as it helps me to identify and rectify any grammatical errors or typo in my script. After I had completed 75% suddenly something happened and I clicked on “NO” option when it prompted me to save the doc. So dejected I was that I decided not to post the blog again by writing from scratch. But I had read a long back that there was this scientist in America(i forgot his name :( ) whose house caught fire accidentally and all his research work was reduced to ash in the mishap. When someone tried to console him, he smiled back saying that he is happy that he can start all fresh from scratch by removing all the mistakes and errors and improving the work still more!!!!! Well this is where the difference between the common man and a great person is.

so finally i broke my resloution. couldn't write the blog entry yesterday. Well it wasn't intentional, i had opened inetrnet to write blog but there was some prob in net and it was getting disconnected frequently. after half an hour the power itself went off and i retired to bed.

i could say a lot of reason like above to defend myself and to prove that i'm right. This is what confuses me. A year back i was watching this "MUKTA" serial of T.N Seetaram. In that a guy makes this statement "There is nothing called as truth in this world, you can twist the situation to prove that you are right or whatever you say is truth". Confused eh?! well let me explain the context in which he makes this statement.

The guy in my discussion above is actually born and brought up in a poor but very respected and traditional family. when he is of some 20 years age he takes up the shortcut root to earn money in order to eradicate the problems created in his house due to poverty. He joins the gang of a local goonda doing some petty illegal acrivites like Roll call, blackmail, threatning etc. But he makes sure that his family members doesnt come to know about this. But his elder sis somehow comes to know abt her bro's job and questions him. She tries to tel him that whatever he is doing is not right. but the guy explains her that, "for him helping out the family from the problems was his aim. How could you ask me to just watch all the problems that the family is facing and do nothing? wont that be mistake? with my money i was able to cure the disease that parents were suffering, clear the debts etc. is that not a good part? Last but not least, if he had not taken up that job, that goonda would have got it done by someone else, so basically it means that all those illegal activities would have occured somehow. There is nothing called as truth in this world, all depend on how you shape the fact to defend whatever work you have been doing". Her sis gets really shocked. And me more than her...

This has got such a impact on me. i find it so dificult to judge anything as good or bad. if someone is affected by me, intentionally or not, if i try to defend myself i feel that i'm twisting the truth for my advantage. it has really impaired my judging capabality.

may be my blogs have become a overdosage of philosophy. i must think of new ideas to write the blogs. but i never think abot the topic before starting to write. its just like giving pen to my mind which goes on writing its thoughts.

From the day I joined my company, I am always a kind of dissatisfied person. Basically because I am put into testing stream where there is nothing much challenging to do. It hurt me a lot lot lot given the fact that I had a lot of dreams in me of being into any development tech.

Day in and day out I feel very bored with work. As I said there is nothing much challenging to do. But when I take a look at the world around me, I see so many people daily who do the same stuff daily. Each and everyday. How should be they feeling?
A bus conductor whose task is to issue tickets and unnecessarily travel between two points daily, the driver who drives the bus, the blue collared labours… so many people. The list just grows bigger.

Our life wont run if these people don’t do their job. Comes to absolute stand still. And none of their work is as simple to do as mine. Still I cry to get better thing. So strange the life is. It has been just a year that I started working and it is really to early for me to say this. But I realize that it is the human nature to desire for the next level the moment the god grants him his current wish.

Really the animals are far better than us. Take the example of dog. The moment you throw a piece of bread at it, it’ll come with you ready to serve as slave for rest of its life. Will it ever ditch you when it comes across any other person who is still richer than you? Or will it ever ask you to get good food?( like how we ask for pay hike).

Having said above words, I myself am still not able to follow the above piece of reality in my life. Somehow the mind gets back to its regular duty of initiating the debate of unsatisfaction. I’m also a human being, and naturally I have the desires in my mind. And as I had said before, you cant change your god given personality traits totally. But you need to constantly try to atleast shape them. And I’m in process of that.

I wish God will help in my mission.

One more Sunday came and went. I wonder why Sundays are so fast like blink your eyes-day will end.

Nothing much happened today which could ignite my thought process to write blog. Except for a early morning dirty Breaking news in a news channel saying that the Police craked down on a group of people trying to do Conversion. (of course to Christianity, bloody hell). Don’t know what’s wrong with the society.

Whenever I make such statement like “don’t know what is wrong with the society”, I remember a scene in one Kannada Movie that I saw when I was small. (may be Beladingala Bale, not sure) there a person will tell to Anantnag about the 4 phases of life cycle. I try to recollect here. It seems every human being’s life passes through 4 phases or cycles constantly. In 1 phase, the human being thinks that- only he is correct in this world and nobody else. All are incorrect. In another phase, he gets to think that his assumption was wrong and all are correct in this world, except himself. In another phase he again feels that he was wrong and thinks that nobody is correct. In the final phase he thinks that all including himself are correct.

The timing, duration, appearance of each of the above mentioned phases vary from person to person. That is why I dint mentioned as 1st phase, 2nd phase….. But what is common in every person is that the Final phase would be the same, that is “all including myself are correct” this is because we would be correcting ourselves continuously. And finally we say that whatever we had thought all these days is not correct. The cycle keeps on repeating after the final phase is reched.

You might be feeling strange about this piece of info. May be because you are hearing this for the first time and so never had any chance to correlate your thoughts to the 4 phases. But this has had v.high impact on my life. Almost all the incidences in my life I’ve correlated to this.

Coming back to the Conversion issue. Well I was fuming with anger and blaming myself for living life amidst these bastards. But a thought passed thru my mind. Why frm so many days I’m blaming the society? Am I passing thru the phase “ all are incorrect except myself” ?

Yet to find answer. Lots of turbulence going on inside me. As of now, the always-short-Sunday has ended and the snoring sound of my dad is repeatedly reminding me of the pleasure of sleeping. Here I’m going to do the job now which any human being and animal in world will love to do -“sleeping”.

I wish each and everyone of you a very happy Krishna Janmashtami. May the Lord bless all of us.

When I was small, Krishnashtami would mean Pooja in evening followed by Prasad. I would be waiting for the moment where dad would jst finish the pooja and distribute the Prasad. After that, I can eat how much ever I want.

Gradually I started realizing the importance of this auspicious day. Every time I here any Krishna-killing-demon story, I would be just elated with my mind and soul appreciating the wit of Lord Krishna. How lucky and blessed the people of his kingdom were to have a god as their King.

Now come to today’s world. We are ruled by so called political leaders who are none other than Kansas and Jarasandhs of Dwaparyug to be frank. Everyone is hell bent on looting the common man and national wealth. So much so that nothing is bad to them. I bet none of them have even a small inch of conscience in them. They will go to any extent to amass wealth. It is the time now for the Lord Vishnu to take 11th avatar to kill these 21st century demons and save us from their hands.

Just take a look at the incidences happening around us. The UPA govt ruling the nation has filed a Case in Supreme court questioning the very existence of Lord Rama and the Dhanushkoti Bridge which played the role of connector between the Rameshwaram of Tamil Nadu and Lanka. The multi-crore rupee project proposes to provide a shorter sea route from Rameshwaram to Sri Lanka. The ASI whose task is to protect the historical monuments across the nation, In an affidavit filed before the apex court rejected the claim of the existence of the Ram Sethu bridge in the area where the project was under construction. What bull shit is this? Are these people expecting the Lord Ram’s birth certificate to be produced to prove that he existed? How crap.

We all also know that Lord Krishna used to rule a magnificent place called Dwaraka. History has it that the Lord built this city with the help of God’s Architect Vishwakarma after claiming the Land from god of sea. But after the disappearance of Lord ( yes they say Lord disappeared. I got this piece of information from google “Lord Krishna was disillusioned with the fraternal killing among the Yaduvanshis. He went to a forest near Somnath in Bhalka Tirth to meditate. Jara, a hunter mistook the lord's feet to be a deer and accidentally shot him with the arrow. Lord Krishna's spirit left for heaven. Bhagwan Krishna's disappearance marks the beginning of the current debauched age, also known as Kaliyug.The great sage Vyas then wrote the famous 'Bhagawad Puran' to save the heritage and miracles of Lord Krishna. The story of Lord Krishna has since been passed from generation to generation.”) the city was submerged under the ocean. Everyone knew this but nothing much was done till 1983 when the respected S.N Rao undertook the mission to do the deep sea excavation to find out the reality by making use of Hi-Tech modern day equipments. Thanks to his determination, after a prolonged excavation and research of more than 10 years, it is internationally proved that Lord Krishna existed in our nation and used to rule a beautiful city called Dwaraka.

But my concern over here is that how many of us Hindus know about this great work of S.N Rao? Of course we are not to be blamed totally here. The so called secular Govt which used to rule the nation then, hardly did anything to bring this to the notice of common people. So it is obvious that this great work of the Mr. Rao remains confined to the books. Shame on us to have such rulers. Shame on us to be so callous about these great works. Just because of our inattitude towards this, we are witnessing this stupid affidavits being filed in Apex court by the bloody “secular Govt”. I’m not a Hindu party activist or a member of any such outfits like VHP or RSS. I’m expressing my concerns in a true manner over here.

Hope the Lord takes one more avtar and save this world from the evil effects of Kalyug.

Hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare
Hare Krishna hare Krishna Krishna Krishna hare hare

Actually I am very tired today. Thought of not writing, but then as I said its difficult to break the resolution after u make it in blog.

My friend had forwarded a email to me today. It was a real incidence where a husband looses his beloved wife after a money-minded,mean, inhumanly doctor and his hospital carries out a laproscopic surgery on her. I was so sad after reading the mail.

This is just a small example. Remember the movie “Rang de basanti” ? well who will not. In that movie, police carries out lathi charge on the peacefully protesting people at the behest of a mean minded politician. Why I am quoting these examples is that, there are so many situations which common people like us face each day where we could hardly do anything. It’s a hard reality of life.

A autorickshaw wallah shouting at you and demanding the “fare” as shown by tampered meter, a traffic police person asking u to cough up bribe even though you have all the concerned docs, a police person not recording FIR for your stolen mobile saying that it is a very small crime to be reported, telephone dept not giving the phone line connection even after visiting their office 100 times, Govt gas agency not accepting your request to give a new connection, etc etc., These are just some of the problems which we face very oftenly. What I feel at my heart is “I cant help”. So many times I’ve had this thrust to hit the person who causes the problem. But you cant. Just because you don’t have the three imp things to live in this society- Money, Power, Influence. Without any one of these, you can hardly dream yourself being free from such problems.

Coming back to the husband who lost his wife. Poor guy, he can hardly do anything to get justice. The quack doctor (bloody rascal, **###), his hospital, the health dept, minister all will be hand in hand. His drive to get justice wil be crushed at the root levels by all the above people. Tell me what he should do. How much dearth he might have felt to kill the doc, the staff and all those involved. But he cant. Y? simple, the lack of 3 imp things I listed out above.

A intense person like me finds it difficult to even imagine such situations. I am actually a kind of person who shouted and raised voice against my own lecturer at class for wrongly scolding me (but I appologised later as he was too soft a guy to be scolded). So whenever I come across such incidences, I hardly react externally. My emotions (anger coupled with helplessness) make me cry easily, which I don’t want anyone to know. So I never react.

So depresing to see people killing others of their own species to make money and feed their family. What kind of life we are leading?

21/8/2008

Today promotions were announced in our company. If it brought cheers to some, it also brought tears to some others. This year’s promotions were not applicable to me as I was jst a year old in the org.
Though it was not applicable to me, I was deeply engrossed in thinking about that day when even I would be in the list of expected. I fear not to open it myself. Just yesterday I wrote that we shouldn’t be deterred if we don’t get something which we had dreamt for. But here I’m today, exactly opposite of my own words. What I would say is that, no matter whatever philosophical stuffs u read, or hear, it will not bring a total change in us. I am not telling that we shouldn’t stop reading or hearing such spiritual or philosophical stuff. But I believe that, we are made up of a set of personality traits which will decide what we are and how we are. So at the max, we can try to shape up these personality traits as per what the philosophy says. But cant totally change it. If that happens, one day in this world everyone will be alike with just good people around and nobody else. The police, army, scientists who develop weapons, etc., will loose their job as there would be nobody to kill or detained in prison.

One small example to explain what my fear about the promotions actually is. Think that there are 2 persons working under same boss, Mr. A and Mr. B. A is very sensitive and composed. He works really hard with no issues to be pin pointed against him. But he never reports to his boss about the work what he does everyday. He goes to his boss only if there is any genuine need. Wheras Mr. B is dead opposite in nature. He makes sure that his boss will come to know about each and every minute work he does everyday. So when the D day (day to declare the promotions) comes, the boss will promote B. Tell me what u think about this? Who has done mistake if any. The most common answer would be to say that B is wrong. He shows off about his work etc etc… but what I would say is that, u cant totally put Mr. B in a spot lik that. He has that personality trait in him to make sure that his boss is appraised of whatever work he does. Whereas A lacks it. Or can we say that the boss himself is wrong? He should observe who does how much work everyday right? But that also wont be 100% right. Because he has got his own work to do apart from judging his teammates.

Well, ultimately I would just say that nothing is in our hand. All fate. We should not get deterred by these. But still it is very difficult to get over. But remember one thing “ Failure is not falling down and accepting the defeat. It is the refusal to get up and fight”

I would just say this "GOD". Such was the experience that i had the day after i wrote my first blog. No, i am not saying that my blog was a "mass hit" in a way that many many ppl posted their comments as it happens for celebrities blog. The experience i'm talking about here is the one that i had for myself.Ya i know, you might wonder what it might be. There are a lot actually. The main thing that happened was that the whole day i kept thinking what new i shall write in the blog today? :) Beleive me or not, i kept visiting my blog like a guest several time. Each time i read my blog, i felt a different me. Actually i was able to see myself in front of me !!!!! I never thought that i could think in this way, write in this way. (Damn it, why there is no auto spell check or grammar chek like the one we have in MS Word here??? its really irritating to do all of them manuallY)

And second main thing was the change in the thinking level. I started thinking each and every thing ( ......... or many things atleast ) in detailed manner, why because is that i had this thought in mind that "If there is any special in this happening to me, i could probably find out the reason behind it so that i can post it in the blog!!!!" Really, such was the impact of blogging.

And last but not least, i would challenge any one that if you make any resolution and post it in blog you will think 100 times before you decide upon going against it. i wont go much detailed on this. Because you should experience this by yourself rather than reading my experience.

I know that this excitement what i experienced today will not remain same in the long run. But out of the points which i've listed above i strongly beleive that the one that is going to last forever is the feeling of See-yourself-in-front-of-u feeling. I wont be lying if i say that i've found answer to my question why-waste-time-blogging in my debut blog entry.

finally a bit of philosophy,(from trusted source. the source keeps on changing, so i dont like to mention it everytime.) we should remember that anything in this world is not permanent. ANYTHING. so we shouldn't regret if we fail to acheive something. Because those who acheive that also wont be all happy as we might think. You might get something else in place of what you actually dreamt for. But you shouldnt be unhappy about that. why because is that our aim should be to find the divine god in whatever work we do. Not the materialistic pleasure like Money, fame etc. Beacuse we should remember that what we get or what we acheive is not really done be us, it is the gift of the almighty. I am not saying that we shouldnt give up our effort in acheiving anything thinking that god is going to do it himself. Instead, we shouldnt be unhappy if were unable to acheive what we dreamt for inspite of our best efforts.And we should accept whatever he gives and should try to see him in doing that work. That is what our ultimate goal should be in our life.

day 1 in blogosphere

i really dont know how i changed my mindset from being why-people-waste-time-writing-blog to why-not-try-it-out-myself. I read in Bangalore times that Junior B forces his father Big B to write blog daily. Then also i was lik nah, why would a busy person like AB would waste his time to write blog. But then, i decided to google to check out once.... God !!! he really writes. and that too in short time breaks he gets in between his shots. Amazing. and whats still more amazing is that ppl wait for him to enter the blog for every day. I was really stunned, Bowled actually.

So jst had this thought in my mind for a couple of days. What actually u get by blogging. But then came to conclusion that there are lots of things which we do in our life daily which doesnt gives us anything. so why waste time in thinking what i get by blogging ( i thouht i would be wasting my time blogging, but infact i started wasting time in thinking "why blogging" :) ).

This is how i entered the blogosphere. I hve made resolution on my first day of blogosphere that, i would never miss our entering blog on any day unless its really impossible for me ( cos i dont have access to entertainment sites in my office, well let me not list out for what all things i dont have access).

God, wish me all the best to keep up my resolution.